Parent Coaching is a process that strengthens the foundation of trust and respect between parents and their teenager, which is critical in the parent-teen relationship.
If you have never considered working with a Parent Coach, this idea may be unfamiliar to you.
First and foremost, Parent Coaching is about you. Why? Because you can’t change your teenager. You already know this because you have probably noticed that the more you try and change your teenager, the worse things get.
The only person you can change is you, so the focus must be on yourself. The beauty of this is that as you change yourself, you will start to see your teenager in a new light, thus opening up a new world of possibilities.
Parent Coaching is collaborative and respects that you are the expert with your teen and is tailored to your unique personality and particular situation.
It is a process and is a combination of teaching and coaching, or a “teach first, coach second” model. It is parent education with a coaching element. Knowledge is important; however, it has been my experience that putting knowledge into practice can be challenging. It is one thing to learn a concept or a skill, but a totally different thing to apply it. Coaching helps parents apply this knowledge in a meaningful and effective way. It is powerful, and it works.
Four Coaching Areas
Positioning and Strategy
The focus here is on shifting your parental role to that of a coach. This shift allows you to become an ally, not an enemy, in your teenager’s life. Through the process of being coached, you will learn how to coach your teenager.
Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Believe it or not, your biggest challenge is not your teenager’s behaviour. The biggest challenge is your emotional reaction to their behaviour. I call this emotional reaction “the crazy,” and every parent brings their own unique brand of crazy into their relationship with their teenager. Learning to tame your “crazy” is absolutely critical.
You will expand your level of awareness as to why you do what you do. In other words, you will learn what makes you tick. Coaching will help you identify your parenting fears, beliefs, patterns, and triggers. Most importantly, you will identify how you contribute to the problems with your teenager.
Expanding Your Parenting Toolbox
You already have a parenting toolbox. That toolbox, unfortunately, is most likely loaded with tools of control. The problem is that tools of control create disconnection. They often make things worse. The key is to learn and develop parenting skills that create connection, trust, and respect, which ultimately raise your level of influence with your teenager.
“I read every parenting book on the planet. I knew academically what I needed to be doing to parent my teenager, but in practice, I wasn’t following through. Ken was able to help me put the concepts and ideas behind successful parenting into action through his coaching. After Ken’s help with our family, I noticed immense changes in how I was reacting to tough situations with my teen, and our relationship improved exponentially. Coaching with Ken came at a crucial time in our family’s history, and without Ken’s help, I’m certain things would not have worked out as well as they did.”
A parent’s refusal to accept their teenager for who they are can have significant emotional, psychological, and behavioural impacts on their teenager’s well-being and development.
If you consistently match your teenagers crazy with your crazy, you have developed a habit of being reactionary rather than responsive.
Teenagers often do things that defy common sense and conventional wisdom. This is what happens when you have a brain that is under construction.
The most effective way of building a strong relationship with your teenager and affect lasting change is to work harder on yourself than on your teen.
If you are struggling with your teenager and need support and strategies to navigate your relationship, think coaching, not therapy.
FAQs about Parent Coaching
Is Parent Coaching covered under my Health Benefits Plan?
The cost of parent coaching is not covered under your health benefits. Consider it as investment in yourself and your relationship with your teenager.
What is the difference between parent coaching and therapy?
- typically focuses on issues of pathology, unresolved psychological issues of the past, and healing.
- frequently uses diagnoses and can last anywhere from weeks to years.
- looks forward, deals in the present, seeks to educate, and does not diagnose. While the past may be discussed, it is addressed in the context of discovering what is blocking the client from moving forward.
- uses tools and the most current research to help you develop the skills you need to parent your teenager.
Will you meet with my teenager or us as a family?
No. Parent coaching is designed to help you become the agent of change for your teenager. A parent coach helps from behind the scenes.
Parenting a teenager or young adult can be a significant challenge, but a happier, healthier and more respectful relationship is possible.
Parent Coaching with Ken can help.